4 words: hood of his car
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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