Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
