In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
