are you still at the devil's house?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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