We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
