can u get pink eye on your cock?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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