tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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