i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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