shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
