Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
