i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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