sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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