Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize