Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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