It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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