No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
