Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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