seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
