and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize