Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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