My hand turned me down
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
