i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
