i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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