Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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