Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.

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(512): View more from Texas

He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.

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(310): View more from California

how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses

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(303): View more from Colorado

It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI

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(702): View more from Nevada

I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW

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(894): View more from

I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..

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