is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
