so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
