I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
