I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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