drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
