two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
