you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
