You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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