Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So much Jack, so little girl.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
