..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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