my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
