You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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