yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
