I need help removing her.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize