she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
