I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
