Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
