D3 body, D1 cock
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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