I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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