Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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