grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
