Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
