Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
