I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
