wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize