i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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