at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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