Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize