Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
