holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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