watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
