people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
