Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think my vagina is haunted
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
