So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
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