I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
