We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
