He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
