It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
