Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
