And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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