I am full of burrito and curiosity
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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