You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
