when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
