dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
