We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
