so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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