the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
