No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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