So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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