Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize