So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
