He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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