smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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