he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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