so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
