i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
